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Mummies & Dehydration: Supernatural Health Series

Water, water everywhere.  With 71% of the earth being covered in water, and around 60% of the human body being water, there is no doubt that water is one of the most important elements of health – health of the body and health of our environment.

But what about the health of mummies?  No one is more prone to severe dehydration that a mummified person or animal.  In fact, a lack of water is necessary for the mummification process.

So what is a health seeking mummy to do?  Let’s look at general guidelines for water consumption in humans, and see if our mummy brethren can benefit from this information.

Benefits of Water

Every system in our body uses water.  Without water many essential processes slow down or do not function optimally.  Some of the most important functions of water in the body:

  • carrying nutrients to your cells
  • allowing your cells to remove debris
  • flushing bacteria out of the bladder
  • supporting digestion
  • regulating bowel movements
  • supporting blood pressure
  • protecting joints
  • regulating body temperature
  • maintaining salt balance in the body

Signs of Dehydration

Dehydration can occur quickly, especially on hot days, or slowly with compounded effects day after day.  If you have any of the following signs of dehydration, you should increase your water intake and talk to your doctor.

  • headaches
  • dizziness
  • weakness
  • low blood pressure
  • confusion
  • dark coloured urine
  • dry skin
  • bandage wrapped skin and a birth date more than 100 years ago

How Much Water to Drink?

There is no hard rule for how much water to drink, but there are some general guidelines which can be helpful in keeping you hydrated.

  1. Two to three cups (250ml) per hour – This will keep you hydrated all day long
  2. 8×8 rule – eight 8oz glasses per day. – Simple, easy to remember, but not based on any hard science, the 8×8 rule is likely to work for most people
  3. 5-1.0 ounces per pound of body weight – A nice guideline that can be easily individualized based on your weight. Aim for the higher amount during hotter or drier weather.

For mummies, the recommended amount of water is likely to be much higher due to a baseline of severe dehydration.  I recommend tripling the above recommendations to meet a mummy’s water needs.

Human, or mummy, water is essential to our quality of life.  So pick a guideline above and challenge yourself to drink your way to optimal health.

Disclaimer

The advice provided in this article is for informational purposes by the supernatural community. It is meant to augment and not replace consultation with a licensed monster doctor. Consultation with a Naturopathic Doctor, Dr. Frankenstein, or other primary care provider is recommended for any supernatural being suffering from a health problem.

Laryngitis in Mermaids: Top Five Tips

There is no more famous case of laryngitis than that of the Little Mermaid. While her voice was lost due to an unfortunate deal with an evil sea witch, mermaids must be mindful of maintaining their voices lest they lose the ability to lure unsuspecting sailors to their destiny in the sea.

This article gives my top five tips for treating and preventing laryngitis in mermaids, mermen and sirens. Don’t let your lost voice be the loss of your allure.

  1. Increase Vitamin C

Vitamin C can help merfolk boost their immune system and overcome the inflammation of laryngitis. Sea vegetables, like dulse or kelp, contain about 20mg of vitamin C per tablespoon. So up your seaweed intake, or consider getting a vitamin C supplement – it is a water soluble supplement so watch that it doesn’t dissolve in the sea.

  1. Sage Tea

Sage (Salvia officinalis) is a land plant that is most often associated with Thanksgiving turkey dinners. However, it can be used by humans and mermaids alike to calm a sore throat and heal laryngitis. Sage has astringent, antiseptic and antibacterial properties that make it ideal for laryngitis.

Sage is most commonly used as a tea – brew 1-2 tsp in boiling water and drink warm (2-3 cups per day). You can also add honey if available in your neck of the sea. Don’t use sage if you are breastfeeding merbabies, as it can reduce milk supply.

  1. Licorice Reduction

Licorice (Glycyrrhiza glabra) is the root from another land plant and has anti-inflammatory and soothing properties. My favourite way of using licorice is as a reduction. Simple to prepare, and delicious, licorice reduction is safe for meradults and merchildren.

To make the reduction boil 8 tbsp of licorice root in 6 cups of water. Reduce heat and simmer until the mixture reduces to 1 ½ cups. Remove from heat and add 6 tbsp of honey. Cool, bottle and keep in a cool wet sack. Merchildren can have 1 tsp three times per day, and meradults can have 1 tbsp three times daily.

  1. Total Voice Rest

While the temptation for mermaids may be to sing, total voice rest is recommended for any merfolk suffering with laryngitis. Even whispering can prolong the inflammation in the laryngx and slow healing. So give your voice a rest for a few days and trust to your body language to get your message across.

  1. Don’t Trust Sea Witches

My final suggestion for preventing laryngitis is to avoid sea witches, and never trust one if you do encounter one. Sea witches are one of the most common causes of laryngitis in mermaids (although a rare cause in humans). Remember – an ounce of prevention is worth a pound of cure – so leave the sea witches to their own devices and reduce your risk of developing laryngitis.

Disclaimer

The advice provided in this article is for informational purposes by the supernatural community. It is meant to augment and not replace consultation with a licensed monster doctor. Consultation with a Naturopathic Doctor, Dr. Frankenstein, or other primary care provider is recommended for any supernatural being suffering from a health problem.

 

Vampires and Vitamin D Deficiency

Very little is known about the health issues impacting our supernatural community. Notoriously secretive, no agency (that we are aware of) is maintaining statistics on the health of supernatural beings. In this series I will be bringing a greater awareness to this issue, discussing some of the most common concerns impacting the magical members of our global community. Perhaps through education we may bring some light to those inhabiting our darkest nights.

No Sunshine in Their Lives

The existence of vampires has been documented in cultures around the world since ancient times. While exact population counts are impossible to attain, vampires are thought to be one of the most populous of all the supernatural beings.

Dwelling only in the darkness, vampires at are significant risk of vitamin D deficiency. Vitamin D is produced when the sun’s ultraviolet rays (UVB rays) penetrate the skin. With full body exposure to sunlight, a body can produce upwards of 10 000 to 20 000IU of vitamin D after just 15 minutes. This duration of sun exposure would certainly be fatal to a vampire.

40% of Humans, 100% of Vampires

It is estimated that 40% of humans are deficient in vitamin D, with rates being much higher during the winter months when UVB rays are unable to the Northern hemisphere. With no exposure to the sun it may be estimated that 100% of vampires are likely to be deficient in vitamin D.

Risks of Vitamin D Deficiency

Vitamin D deficiency can lead to an increased incidence of colds and influenza, osteoporosis, autoimmune disease, and over 16 different types of cancer, including breast, pancreatic and lung cancer.

Vitamin D Supplementation for Vampires

Ideally testing for vitamin D levels should be carried out on vampires to determine ideal dosing. As vampires are notoriously secretive, and very few laboratories are open after dark, testing may be difficult to attain. I suggest all vampires consider a vitamin D supplement, to ensure their needs are met. A general guideline for humans and vampires is to take a minimum of 1000IU per day. Your Naturopathic Doctor can help to individualize your dose based on your body weight and sun exposure (or lack thereof).

Disclaimer

The advice provided in this article is for informational purposes by the supernatural community. It is meant to augment and not replace consultation with a licensed monster doctor. Consultation with a Naturopathic Doctor, Dr. Frankenstein, or other primary care provider is recommended for any supernatural being suffering from a health problem.